I Know, I Know

I haven't blogged in forever. Alright, that is a slight exaggeration. I admit, I have been tired, preoccupied, and have found so many other things that I've needed to do. Also, so many fun things happened at Thanksgiving, I didn't feel like words could describe them, and unfortunately, I don't even have pictures to make up for it. Christmas is coming, we are swamped at work, and I have been helping out with the youth group, which is fun, but it only adds to my time being limited. Speaking of youth group, we have some great things planned for the next couple of weeks! I am stoked! I am going to try and post some pics, a few of them of my dad and one of the surprises happening at our youth group Christmas party.

The good news is that my studying days are over...at least for the semester. I took my final yesterday, and I feel really good about it. I am thankful...here are some more reasons to be thankful:

1.) That I feel more at home this year at Muskingum than last—tonight was the holiday reception at my boss's house. Last year, I got my food and ducked into a corner the entire night (thank goodness Linda was there to keep me company)! This year, I walked around the house, talking to different people. Granted, I did eventually find my way to the same corner as last year, but this time I was surrounded by coworkers with whom I could actually share conversation. That makes me happy.

2.) I know I said it earlier, but I am so grateful that my final is over, and I am now on break. I must admit that I am exhausted. It feels good to come home and not really have to worry about the next day.

3.) Friendly workers at Wal-Mart. Tonight, I ended up buying more on my shopping trip that I had originally anticipated. I was stranded without a cart when one of the workers asked if I wanted the cart she was using for some task. Thank you, whatever your name was! You made my night.

4.) Christmas cards from unexpected, long-lost friends. It's good to hear from you!

5.) Weekends with no agenda. I am looking forward to this one. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Goodnight!

11.21.07 - Today I'm Thankful For...

1.) Running water—this morning we woke up to discover that one of our toilets had run all night, depleting our spring. Thus, we had no water until later today after the resovoir had a chance to fill. We are still being careful, but I am thankful for water!




2.) Indoor plumbing—seriously, how did people survive using outhouses? My dad had to completely take apart the above toilet (which happens to be the one closest to my room). I am very grateful that it is back up and running!


3.) Clean rooms—today, while I was waiting on the water, I completely cleaned out the basement den area. I swept in all the nooks and crannies, dusted all of the bookshelves, and rearranged all of the work-out equipment. It looks and feels better!


4.) Catch up days—like today. I took off of work to get caught up on life at home: cleaning, homework, & organizing. I didn't get as much done as I had hoped because of all of the water issues, but I did get a lot done. I still have a paper to write, but I have some time.


5.) A long weekend with family to celebrate Thanksgiving Day—tomorrow is Thanksgiving! We are headed to my dad's family for a long weekend of laughter, fellowship, and knowing our family, a lot of food! I am looking forward to getting away!

11.20.07

1.) The chance to dress up like a punk rocker for youth group—Tonight we were discussing the passage in James were he talks about favoritism. Good times! I should have taken a picture!

2.) The fact that Satan has no power over me—1 John, Chapter 5—Read it! It's good stuff!

3.) 5 Days off of work for Thanksgiving break—starting tomorrow! I am so excited!

4.) Figuring out how to use the college library system—it took me my entire lunch break, but I found all of the sources I needed for my John Bunyan paper!

5.) Christmas music—my current fav—Bebo Norman: Christmas from the Realms of Glory! Amazingly beautiful.

Saying Yes to God

A few months back I was frustrated with life. I asked God when things were going to change. I felt like I was a hamster running on the wheel... life kept moving, but I never felt like I was getting anywhere.

The past few weeks I have felt the resounding presence of God saying, "When are you going to do something about that? Start saying yes to me."

So, here I am, scared to death, because I have asked God to help me say yes, no matter what that looks like.

What does that look like? I have started stepping out of my comfort zone, a lot! First, when everyone was on vacation this summer, I agreed to lead worship. Secondly, Dad has asked me to lead a few new songs the past couple of weeks at church with the worship team. Thirdly, I agreed to be a part of the leadership team for the youth group. I'm not quite sure how that looks or how much time I can give, but I am excited about making an impact on the youth. I remember how I valued and so appreciated the people who took the time to do that for me.

It also means being willing to step out in faith and seeing where God takes me. I said yes to moving out because I felt like it was something that God asked me to do; however, it looks like that is on hold indefinitely. But I am ok with that. I felt like it was a matter of obedience and being willing to hang on to God—to depend fully on Him.

What does the future hold? Who knows. With God, anything is possible. What matters is saying yes to Him.

International Dinner & 1 John

I promised a blog after dinner: here it is! : )

I had a great time. I love the international dinner. I love experiencing different cultures, foods, accents, and traditions. Last year was a success and so was this year.

We were able to sample some unique cuisine (some of it better than others), and some of it was really quite good! We also got to see some traditional cultural dances, hear some traditional songs, and see some cultural clothing. I think this has become a yearly tradition for me. I plan on going next year.

So, I just got done reading my Bible for the night. I am so excited because I am starting 1 John. I remember as a child listening to a someone preach out of 1 John. He said something to the affect of God saving the best for last. He said that God didn't end with Peter who tends to be harsh, but He ends with three books that talk about love (of course then there is Jude and Revelation, but I knew what he meant). I have always loved these books. When I first became a Christian (at age 12), I often doubted my faith—was it real? If so, why didn't I feel different. I often read 1 John as a source of comfort and as a way to take captive those thoughts.

1 John chapter 2 says, "Here's how we can be sure that we know God in the right way: keep his commandments...But the one who keeps God's word is the person in whom we see God's mature love...Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived."

I love this passage of scripture. It both reaffirms my faith and challenges me to live like Jesus.

On that note, I must be off to study, but here is a thought from Oswald Chambers for the day, "The true test of a saint's life is not successfulness but faithfulness on the human level of life...our purpose should be to display the glory of God in human life, to live a life "hidden with Christ in God" in our everyday human conditions."

11.16.07

Less than a week until Thanksgiving... here is today's list.

1.) That my car wreck wasn't worse than it was...I backed into a parked car in our driveway... wow that sounds really stupid. I promise, it was not intentional!

2.) Compassionate dads—my dad for leaving me the sweetest voice message, telling me not to worry about it and my heavenly Father for telling my heart not to worry about it.

3.) Productive Friday's—today was one of them!

4.) The Anticipation for the International Dinner—it was so good last year. I will write more about it after tonight!

5.) Cell Phones—What would we do without them? It seems like just yesterday they were a luxury, not a necessity.

11.14.07

Today I'm thankful for:

1.) "Shout Out Loud" by Amos Lee—such a great song. It has been stuck in my head all day!

2.) The peace of knowing that when Jesus returns, I am ready—2 Peter.

3.) Oatmeal Raisin cookies—they are my current favorite cookie.

4.) Quiet days at work—today was one of them!

5.) The freedom of being single!—Slightly longer story... we've been reading Roxana by Defoe. I sometimes feel like Roxana, marriage takes away that sense of freedom. Currently, the confusion, fear, and disappointment that I have witnessed in relationships is making me think that Paul had it right all along (not that I ever doubted him).

Today's List of Thankfulness

Today was a good day. There wasn't a lot happening at work, so I caught up on some odds and ends on my desk. Then I got to leave early since I didn't get to take a lunch break due to some outside meetings that took place today. Then I headed off to my IAAP meeting, which is always a good time. IAAP is a group that gave me a lot of scholarships during my time in college. It is a group for administrative assistants, since I am now one, I attend the meetings. It's cool because I see a lot of my old classmates, professors, and my best friend from college—Heather.

Tonight, the topic of the meeting was, "Laughter is the Best Medicine." The speaker was a man named Stoey. He is originally from the south and now a current Zanesville resident. He is really down to earth, but is actually quite successful. I would love to know more of his story. He speaks English, Arabic, French, and I believe he also said Spanish. He was an interrogator during the Desert Storm. He is a very interesting speaker. Anyway, I laughed a lot tonight.

Afterwards I made a trip to Wal-Mart, then I headed home. Dad and I worked on a new song for Sunday. It is by Shane & Shane called When I Think About the Lord. It is a great Thanksgiving song, and I love singing and playing it.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, here is tonights list—all part of my Wal-Mart experience:

1.) Bioré Deep Cleansing Pore Strips—lets face it, I am 23, and I still struggle with my skin. These things are great! They quickly remove dirt and grime from your pores. In fact, I am using them right now!

2.) Star Fruit—they are an unusual but delicious fruit, and they would make a great garnish for 4th of July dishes. Thanks to Misty who first got me hooked!

3.) Organizing—I bought some files and labels to start expanding my important papers collection.

4.) Campbell's Soup at Hand—During the winter, I love having soup at work that is so convenient. Just heat and sip! Today I was given a tip about soup...Look for low sodium versions. They taste just as great without the excess heart stopping sodium contents!

5.) Parking spots at the entrance—this almost never happens, but I am so happy when it does. Mom and I have a tradition that when this happens, we were meant to go to this particular store for some amazing bargain. We pull into the coveted spot and say, "We were supposed to come here!"

Don't Put It Off

So, that is the heading for what I happened to read tonight in 2 Peter chapter 1. There are a lot of things in life that I would rather put off, going to the doctor's, working out, cleaning...you get the picture. Peter reminds us that we cannot afford to lose time when it comes to our personal development.

He fervently writes, "So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others."

This verse causes me to examine my heart and life. Am I growing in these areas? Is it evident in my life.

Oswald Chambers asks, "What difference has my salvation and sanctification made? For instance, can I stand in the light of 1 Corinthians 13, or do I squirm and evade the issue?"

These questions must be asked on a regular basis.

Lord, I want to be have good character, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love. Give me opportunities to show all of these qualities so that I can confidently say what salvation has done in my life!

As we near Thanksgiving, I think it appropriate to start thankfulness lists when I blog.

Today I am thankful for:

1.) Music—it has formed me into who I am today. I can look back on my life in different seasons and remember the music that I was listening to.

2.) Laughter—tonight my dad tripped over the vacuum cleaner, fell on the floor, and started moaning... granted, it wasn't funny, but all I could do was laugh...it felt good! I laughed so hard that I cried, and it made dad laugh too!

3.) Jeopardy—I really like that show. If I get one answer correct in 30 minutes, I feel like a genius!

4.) Photoshop—today I took a photo of my friend Misty and cloned extra hair onto her already flowing mane. I told her that if she ever aspired to be a hippy, it was her model.

5.) My Professor, Dr. Donna Edsall—even though her class is hard and time consuming, you can tell she is passionate about her subject, her students, and her work. I appreciate that! I espeically appreciate the short plays she writes to help us understand really hard pieces of literature, and the fact that we then have to read them out loud. Very funny!

Looking for Love...

Isn't that what we all are doing? I said that I would have some after thoughts from this weekend, and I do. I'm just not sure how much I really want to divulge online. However, I did say that this blog was the place for me to be myself, and it's not like anyone reads it. : )




So I have this brass plate on my desk that says looking for love. I bought it as a joke for a friend and ended up keeping it for kicks and giggles. Most of the time, I am so content being single. I love it! I relish the fact that I have unlimited freedom. I answer to God, and God alone. I don't have to discuss how I spend my money. I don't have to deal with another family. There are so many pros to this whole single business. It's just like Paul talks about in Corinthians how single people are free to serve God and not their spouse. I love that! However, this weekend, being around a friend who just got married and a friend who is in this brand new relationship made me start thinking about a song that my hero Bebo Norman wrote a few years back when he was still single. It's called Break Me Through.

There is a line in the song that says, "It's funny how it hurts me, this love I've never had." Some days I feel that way. However, the song goes on to say that life shines with God, and if he had to choose, he would choose God everytime. I love this song. It resonates within me. So this weekend, I prayed. As happy as I am for both of my friends and their new-found-love, I want to choose God everytime. I want to focus on Him and not on loneliness or what I don't have. I want to have the freedom to serve Him, however that looks.

I also realized this weekend that the qualities I am looking for in a future husband are not worth compromising just so I can have someone. I will die single before I vow to spend my life with a person who I can't share my life, faith, and interests with. My mom always said, "It's better to be single and want to be married than to be married and wish that you were single!" I hartily concur!

So here's to a life of choosing God everytime—waiting for his absolute best—and trusting in His goodness.

Life Shines With You!
You Show Me That~
Life Shines With You!
So Break Me Through

At Misty's

So, this blog is away from my humble home in Ohio. I brought my friend Jodie to visit our friend Misty for the weekend in the bluegrass state. Misty had to study and Jodie is on the phone, so I thought I would take this opportunity to write about the weekend.

Misty and I have been best friend's for years... too many to count! Jodie and I are fairly new friends. We've known each other for awhile, but we recently started hanging out. Anyway, it's been a quick, but awesome weekend.

We got in Friday night at 8:30 and basically just hung out. Misty's brand new b/f came over and he and Misty showed us their dance moves. It was very exciting (and impressive). After Misty and Thad had there tearful goodbye, it was girl time. We had a lot of catching up to do. Jodie recently got married, so we were asking her about married life.

After many hours, we finally went to bed. This morning we had brunch, took a few hours to study (I was reading excerpts from A Pilgrim's Progress), and then we got ready to go out. We went out for dinner at Applebees, went to the Goodwill... that was a hoot. We found a semi-decent wedding gown, put Misty in it, found some bridal bouquets, and posed for the camera. : ) What trip would be complete without a trip to Wal-Mart. Afterwards, we went to Graeter's for ice cream.

Now we are back home, and I am contemplating the long drive home and my meeting at the church tomorrow. I recently volunteered to help out with the youth group, which I am thrilled about. I need a new challenge! Tomorrow's meeting we will be figuring out who's doing what. It should be a good time.

Jodie and I are going to stop at the outlet mall on the way home to see if we can get some Christmas shopping done on our limited budgets. I will post more about the trip when I get home...I've been doing some thinking and praying.

Lovesick

So, the big test is finally over. Not that I am at peace, because finals are looming just around the corner, and I have another big paper to write about John Bunyan; however, at this moment, I can rest.

Friday was a really good day. There wasn't a lot going on at work because I was the only one there. I got to take a private tour of the new building that is being built. That was awesome! I got to cruise around in the golf cart and catch the vision for the campus. Very cool!

Yesterday, I got my hair cut... it isn't exactly what I wanted, but life goes on.

My big news is that I might be moving out with a friend to Cbridge... I am still contemplating, but I think that it is the right time.

I need to be reading Absalom and Achitophel by Dryden... I am having a really hard time getting into it...then I got a call from my best friend who is heartsick... no, it's not a fixable disease... it is.... the BIG L! That's right, love. Unfortunately, the guy is semi-clueless. It is a crying shame too. I think that they would be great together. Sometimes I feel so useless. I want to be able to fix these things for the people I love, but alas and alack, I am just me—what can I do in a situation like that? Listen is all I know to do. I am horrible with love advice because I have almost absolutely no experience of my own. It all makes me very sad. I want people to be happy. I want all to be right with the world.... sadly, we are only human, and we make stupid decisions that affect more than just ourselves.

In other news, I had nursery duty at church today... let's just say that one of the kids had eaten what appeared to be a a dozen avacados... enough said. One of my friends made the mistake of picking up said child before the diaper was changed, and it left a rather unpleasant mark on her shirt... remind me not to have kids anytime soon!

Blogging Hiatus

Yes, that's right. This is my last post until some time this coming weekend. I have, from the looks of it, an incredibly difficult test on Friday, covering a crazy amount of information. Frankly, my grade depends on this test. Therefore, I will be taking a break from my almost nightly blogs.

Think of me as I pour over books, notes, and study sheets. I will return feeling much relieved that this test is over!

Adios~

Chipotlé

One word—yum.

So, Chipotlé gave every employee at the college several coupons for free food. I had never been to Chipotlé... I know, shocking, but I just haven't been with the right people at the right time.

So, I dragged my cuz and my bro because they are both big fans. It was amazing! I am hooked!

Then we went to Starbucks for some coffee since it is quite nippy outside these fall evenings. Our next stop was to my brothers apartment, which he is moving out of tomorrow, but I had never been there. It was a good evening.

I am content.

Weekend Update with Yours Truly

So, this was THE BIG weekend at work. We had our biannual board meeting, homecoming and all the festivities involved with that, and we had several ceremonies concerning new buildings on campus.

It was a long weekend and very tiring, but for the first time, I felt like I was really making a difference. I saw the fruit of hard labor! Things went very well, and I really enjoyed myself. We had a big dinner with incredible vocal talent—amazing! Sometimes I am so amazed at the talent that God has lavished on his children.

Other than the incredible music and the amazing things that are happening on campus, the highlight of my weekend was the golf cart that I got to cruise around in on campus. I had a ball with it! : ) It is amazing how the small things make me so excited!

After the homecoming parade today, I went to a play that my professor, Dr. Edsall wrote called, Making Sausage. It was based around the classic play El Cid. It was awesome. It included Dr. Edsall's amazing sense of humor. It was such a nice reprieve from a busy weekend. It was a phenominal experience!

After that, I went to Wal-Mart where I splurged and purchased Colbie Caillat's CD, Coco. It is superb. Beautiful vocals, relaxed guitars, flawless harmonies....I give it two thumbs up!

Now I am home. I have caught up on my English reading (Milton-sonnets & selections of Paradise Lost), played a game with my folks, talked with my best friend Misty, and did my devos... it is now time to settle down and get a good nights sleep! Tomorrow is church. It is my week off from playing the piano (I get to sleep in—sorta). I am hoping to get a hair cut, and then my cuz, my bro, and myself are going out to Chipotle for dinner. Then I need to read to get ahead in my English readings so that I can start studying for our BIG test on Friday. Gulp!

James

So, tonight during my devotional time, I started reading James... I've been reading from The Message which is a paraphrase by Eugene Peterson that I really love when I want to get right to the heart of the matter of what God is saying. Tonight this part struck me...

"If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it." James 1:5

Maybe it is because of a professor I've had in college that I love this verse. You know how some instructors welcome questions and make you feel like an equal when asking them? Well, this prof asks for questions, but I feel like the answer is given condescendingly... I don't think this person means to do it, but it makes the class feel inferior—we are inferior—but it makes asking questions very difficult for me because I hate feeling stupid.

Sometimes, I am afraid that I don't want to pray because I am afraid that God will treat me like this prof.... I know that God is superior, but the fact that I can ask for anything and know that he won't make me feel inferior is such a comfort!! Maybe this all sounds shallow, but it means a lot right now with my situation in life with work & school. I feel so inferior most of the time. It's nice to know that I have a haven, a rock that I can turn to at any time.

Thieves and Murderers

Interesting heading? I know. Today in Brit Lit we were continuing our studies of the metaphysical poets. For the most part, I haven't been very impressed with the poetry. In fact, a lot of it is so vulgar that it makes me blush. However, today we were reading the poems of George Herbert. I'll be honest, the man was rather crazy looking—incredibly skinny, long, pointy nose, and hair that looked like it could use a good relaxer; however, his heart for the Father is unmistakeable. Here is an example:

Redemption

-

Having been tenant long to a rich lord,

Not thriving, I resolvéd to be bold,

And make a suit unto him, to afford

A new small-rented lease, and cancel th' old.

-

In heaven at his manor I him sought:

They told me there that he was lately gone

About some land which he had dearly bought

Long since on earth, to take possession.

-

I straight returned, and knowing his great birth,

Sought him accrodingly in great resorts—

In cities, theaters, gardens, parks, and courts:

At length, I heard a ragged noise and mirth

-

Of thieves and murderers; there I him espied,

Who straight, "Your suit is granted," said, and died.

...

There was a moment in class where I felt so touched by the words this man wrote...but so frustrated because I felt like I couldn't express that in class. There are times when I really wish that I were in a setting that allowed me to do so. However, I am very thankful for the opportunity to have a free education.

...

Here is something I was working on... just some random lines

...

Thieves & Murderers

~

I thought I would find You on a hillside

With a church in the backdrop;

I thought I would find You on a hillside

Making small talk with the crowd;

I thought I would find You on a hillside

Preaching sermons, kissing babies—

~

Then I saw You on a hillside

With the church, Your beloved;

Then I saw You on a hillside

With the outcasts, the broken;

Then I saw You on a hillside

Laying Your life down—

Thieves and murderers surrounding You—

All of us denying You—

How can I tell You that I love You?

I love You.

Thankfulness

1.) A dad who will pose in the Wendy's cutout for kicks and giggles

2.) Being done with my English paper

3.) Random emails from old friends

4.) Lessons learned from Adventures in Odyssey even now

5.) Long naps on Sunday afternoon

Crazy Times

So life has been crazy, thus my lack of blogging activity! I have made it halfway through the semester, which means that one of my PE classes is finished! One down two to go. Today I have been laboring over a paper for my British Literature class. I really didn't like any of the topic choices. We just covered quite a bit of Shakespeare. I will admit, I'm not a huge fan. Is that sacreligious for an English major to say? I just think that it is all a bit of an overkill. So, my topic is about the aspects of loyalty within King Lear. Not too bad since I had a paper on King Lear last semester. Enough about Shakespeare.

Since I last blogged I have helped out with two weddings, taken a weekend vacation to my best friend's, gone to two concerts, spent time with my cuz and watched her orchestra live, and survived some crazy times at work. Where to begin...

So, I gave mom and dad Bebo Norman tickets for their anniversary, and of course, I tagged along with them. I was very excited because Shane & Shane was also touring with him. It was an amazing concert. It was more like one small, intimate worship service. Then, last week, our church hosted Phil Keaggy. Incredible. The man is a guitar beast. And I mean that in the nicest way possible! :)

My cuz (and really good friend) is in an orchestra that is pretty amazing. I drove to see her and to watch the concert. It was amazing. They did Beethoven's 5th Symphony and Haydn's Trumpet Concerto, and a piece I had never heard: Margaret Brouwer's Century Song. It was amazing!

My friend Jodie got married at the beginning of October. It was really great spending time with her and our friends! Then my best friend's brother got married just last weekend.

Anyhoo, things at work have really picked up for me, which is good. I feel like I have more responsibility.

Well, I might have missed some details, but King Lear is calling my name!

p.s. I have been reading my YWAM journal, and it reminded to be more thankful... here are a few things:

1.) Playing Euchre with old and new friends

2.) The feeling of knowing that all your homework is done, and the whole world is at your fingertips

3.) The Office, when Michael makes me laugh out loud

4.) The new Jars of Clay CD (check out the song Shipwrecked)

5.) The crisp fall weather, and the beauty that it brings

Adventures in Babysitting....

Alright, so I haven't exactly been babysitting... I have been cat sitting. Last week I told my boss that I would look after her cats while she was on vacation. Well, after talking, the day she was about to leave, she and her assistant decided that it might be best for me to stay on campus so I wouldn't have to get up so early or get home so late. So they got a campus townhouse all ready for me to stay in. I went home and threw some stuff in a bag and prepared for my solo adventure on campus.

Things were going fine. I was up every morning to feed the cats at 6:30 and also at the house to feed them at 9 p.m. each night. One night, when I was going to feed the cats, I walked into my boss's backyard to find a white cat eating the breakfast leftovers in the darkness of the night. I slowly crept up, when it turned and looked at me with it's beady little eyes. It was then that I realized this was no cat, but a skunk! I ran as fast as my short chubby little legs would carry me, past the gate and into the car.

I survived, resting in the comfort that the grocery store was well stocked with tomato juice! Last night was my last night on campus. On my lunch break, I will pack up my stuff, and get ready to go home and prepare for my trip to Kentucky by myself. I will write more about the wedding when I return! Until then....

The Doldrums

In Websters: 1. a state of inactivity or stagnation, as in business or art: August is a time of doldrums for many enterprises.

So, this is kind of how I feel right now—not that good things aren't happening, but not a lot is going on! With summertime comes family reunions and the inevitable, "What have you been up to," question. I am guilty of asking the same thing. I found myself asking all of my cousins what they had been up to, and not only is it an annoying question, but I just realized that it ends in a preposition, which is not a good thing for an English major! : ) Like I said, grammar was never my strong suit! I reply with the usual "working, school, same old...". Usually, I get a similar response!

Oswald Chambers had this to say about the doldrums:

"The final stage in the life of faith is attainment of character. There are many passing transfigurations of character; when we pray we feel the blessing of God enwrapping us and for the time being we are changed, then we get back to the ordinary days and ways and the glory vanishes. The life of faith is not a life of mounting up with wings, but a life of walking and not fainting. It is not a question of sanctification; but of something infinitely further on than sanctification, of faith that has been tried and proved and has stood the test."

My Utmost for His Highest, March 19-The Way of Abraham in Faith

When I come to the realization that my life of faith depends on these times—the doldrums—I am content. We are called to be steadfast, whether in times of great joy, great sorrow, or the seemingly nothingness. This summer, even though nothing major seems to be happening, it is during this time and those like it that my faith has the chance to prove its endurance.

Top 5's (At the Moment)

Movies

1.) Pride & Prejudice (Keira Knightley)
2.) Return to Me
3.) Napoleon Dynamite
4.) Evan Almighty
5.) My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Books

1.) The Bible
2.) The Scarlet Pimpernel
3.) The Circle Trilogy (Ted Dekker)
4.) Anne of Green Gables
5.) My Utmost for His Highest

Food/Drink

1.) Chai Tea
2.) McDonald's Hamburgers
3.) Rucker John's Chicken
4.) California Salad
5.) Chicken Salad!

TV Shows

1.) The Office
2.) American Idol
3.) One Tree Hill (don't laugh) :)
4.) The Amazing Race
5.) Survivor

Musicians

1.) Bebo Norman
2.) Shawn McDonald
3.) Shane Bernard & Shane Everett
4.) Josh Groban
5.) Misc. friends (Sare, Hannah, etc.)

Colors

1.) Brown
2.) Red
3.) Green
4.) Blue
5.) Purple

Random Things

1.) Driving with the windows down and the music blaring!
2.) Adventures in Odyssey (radio drama from Focus on the Family)
3.) The Ocean (especially Emerald Isle, NC)
4.) Quiet times of worship with the Father
5.) Being with good friends, playing games, & laughing!

**BONUS Likes
—Croquet
—The pool
—Being happy : )

It's Been Awhile

The past week or so I have been bored because the blogs I read have been pretty quiet which leaves me bored during my down times at work. I then realized that it has been awhile since I've blogged! So, I guess I need to practice what I preach. There hasn't been much happening...so I won't bore you with the details, but I will tell you what I did over the weekend...

Saturday I was forced to go dress shopping (a traumatic experience to say the least)! I realized while shopping that I don't wear dresses for a reason! However, I have a wedding on July 28 (my cousin Myron). Then, on August 4, I have another wedding in Kentucky (a good friend from Youth with a Mission). It is an evening wedding, so I figured it would be fairly dressy. I went to every store that sold dresses in three different towns. I probably tried on at least 50 dresses. The good news is that I found three dresses: a sundress and jacket for my cousin's wedding, a dressier dress for the wedding in Kentucky, and I even found a dress that fits really cute to wear to work.

The other bit of good news: if I decide to open my own business, I now have a great idea! I am going to open a clothing store called The Pear...for oddly shaped women. :)

Independence Day

I love the 4th of July. There is a hint of childlike happiness in the air. It makes me think of everything good and wholesome in my life. It is the day of traditions. Nothing seemingly spectacular happens, yet, the joy that resonates as a result of this holiday is spectacular! For instance, yesterday was spent with a bunch of families from church, great food, and our annual trip to the fireworks in Cambridge. Truly small town, but truly memorable!

When I am older, I will never forget the sounds the kids made as they squealed from the cold water of the pool. I won't forget the conversation around our coffee table in the living room about the sense of humor that Mother Nature has. And I won't forget the new heart-shaped firework display that happened on my yearly trip to the fireworks with my family. Those things will be with me forever, and because of that, I am a better person.

The world in which we live can be scary and overwhelming, but days like the 4th quell the urge within me to run and hide. Instead I take pride in this country I live. Last night as I listened to God Bless the U.S.A. as I have for many years now on Independence Day, and I looked into the sky with the colorful "bombs bursting in air," I was reminded of how truly blessed I am.

Listen to the noises of children. Stop and smell the roses. Enjoy the small moments in life... we are truly blessed! Happy Birthday America!

Better to Have Loved and Lost

So you know the Tennyson statement that says it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Sometimes I question that statement. Yesterday, I must confess was a weird day. Some friends of ours came to visit who we never get to see. This couple made such a difference in my life, especially Phil. He actually led me to the Lord when I was 12 years old. Growing up with this family in my life made such a difference... they were so open, honest, and funny! Yesterday, I laughed so hard.

Everyone was there (almost... a few missing pieces) but it felt like old times before everyone started leaving. I don't understand that part of life. I feel like I am stuck. Everyone else has moved on in life, and here I am. The other weird part is that I don't want things to change back to the way they were. I love the people in my life now. I almost feel guilty for missing people who have gone away, as though the people here aren't good enough. I know that may sound silly, but I guess that is who I am or maybe how I am wired.

People are so important to me, and I have such a hard time connecting with people (again, I'm an introvert).... but I love people, and I have such a hard time when they leave, which brings me back to my original Tennyson thought. I always thought that Tennyson must have had some sort of tragic romance, but he actually wrote that line when he lost a good friend. This is where I question Tennyson, is the pain of losing the love of a friend worth the love you had? Would it be better to have never known the love you felt?

Maybe that sounds horrible, but when everyone left last night and we were driving home, I was so sad. A couple of things ran through my head. First, I can't wait for heaven until we are all together. Secondly, I thought that maybe I care more about these people than they care about me. What kind of an impact am I having on their lives.... what kind of an impact is my life having on anyone? And thirdly, why on earth can't I just enjoy having those moments with the people I love? Why do I analyze everything?

That is when I came to conclusion that Tennyson is right. Enjoy the moments you have with the people you love for as long as you have them, even if it doesn't seem long enough. My friend Hannah wrote a song with a line that says, "Forever is just not long enough." She is also right. Hannah and Tennyson are so wise. They reiterate the heart of the Father. The Bible says that we are aliens and strangers to this world—it is not our home. And until we are home, loss is a part of life...but so is love!

Nuts & Berries Update

So last night was the second night of healthiness! The first night my dad tried to tell me that we had only walked a little over a mile... well, I proved him wrong. I took my car on a little spin, and it turns out we had walked quite a bit further... no wonder I almost died! : )

It was so hot last night, however, that we decided to swim instead of walk. Have I mentioned how much I love having a pool? Anyway, after a good hour long swim, we played a game of croquet, and then my mom, my aunt, and myself went for a mile long walk. It went better than the night before, but my shins were killing from my body adjusting to actually moving! : )

I do believe that some of my family members are faltering with the nuts & berries idea. First off, let me say, that my dad has been begging me for months to work out with him because he needs someone to motivate him. Well, last night after a healthy dinner of chicken and brown rice + a salad, we did the dishes and dad went to the couch. As much as I tried to persuade him to come outside with us, he claimed he was too tired! So much for motivation! : )

Next up, Brittny. Granted, she is already pretty skinny, but she has gained some weight since coming to our house, go figure! : ) So, she has been pretty motivated to lose weight with us. Last night, my uncle Mike came over with strawberry pie, and Brittny caved! But that wasn't the only caving I saw. Instead of walking with my fam, she took two drumsticks (the ice cream kind) and went to watch TV... a few hours later, I see her with a third drumstick! Good grief!

That leaves my mom and myself.... I hope this works! : )

Nuts & Berries

My whole family has decided to become "healthy." My question, why isn't it more fun to eat carrots than it is to eat the chocolate cupcakes staring me in the eye at my desk? Our plan of action is to eat fruit for breakfast, a low cal/lean lunch, and a sensible dinner (sounds like a Slim Fast commercial). :) We are also going to be working out at least three times a week if not more.
I was hoping that we could walk a mile three times a week, and then supplement with swimming the other couple of days; however, last night I think that I almost died trying to chug up our hill. Let's face it—I am athletically impaired. Ever since I was a small child, it was apparent that sports was not my thing. When the T-Ball coach made me slide into first base, I was done with baseball. Last night I think I gave up walking! : ) Ok, maybe it's not that bad. On the way down our hill, I was cruising! I thought to myself, "This isn't so bad." What was I thinking?

There are three large hills that you have to go down when walking around our house.... that also means that you have to walk up three large hills to get home. The first hill... not so bad... a little heavy breathing... the second hill I barely made it. I really thought that my folks were going to have to call the ambulance... the third hill I think my heart was beating out of my chest... I was gulping so loudly that Brittny turned around and grabbed my hand! : )

To make matters worse, I think that someone sends out an alert to all of our neighbors to let them know that we are going for a walk. Seriously, everyone was sitting on their front porch... I wanted to pass out on the road, but I couldn't because Bill and his sister wanted to talk about the 90 degree weather! I wanted to shout, "Go inside and enjoy the air conditioner!" No such luck.

I made it home (it was a miracle)... I sat on the couch for about 30 minutes until my heart rate returned to normal. As much as I need to get into shape, I might kill myself doing it! Make sure to look for me on the side of the road! I will be the short chubby one gasping for breath! :)

She's Leaving

Today is a weird day for me. My parents have been involved for some time in foster care. For several years they have taken quite a few kids into our home. Last year around this time, a girl, also named Andrea, came to live with us. I have to admit that I felt some trepidation about this whole process... we have had some crazy, and I do mean CRAZY kids that have stayed in our home. I remember when my mom told me that "Annie" was coming to live with us, I was upset. I was ready to be free from the constant madness that can sometimes occur.

The first time I met Annie, she was sitting on our couch watching some teenage soap opera - I think it was Summerland. I thought to myself, "At least she doesn't look crazy!" That was in June. In July, we decided to take Annie's older sister into our home as well, and then in August, we added yet another sibling, Deven (the younger brother). I have to be honest that I really enjoyed every single moment that I got to spend with all three of them.

Sadly, earlier this year, Deven was adopted by a family who the kids knew pretty well. He was excited — I was just sad. Then in May, Brittny graduated, giving her the freedom to spread her wings whenever she so chooses. And now here comes June, and Annie is being adopted by the same family that has her brother... am I sad? You bet! Last night as they moved her first load of stuff, I remembered back to that first day I saw her sitting on the couch... She was more than just a kid I had to put up with for a few months, she, Brittny, & Deven became the siblings I always wanted but never had. I know, perhaps it sounds corny, but I don't care. Psalms 68:6a says, "God sets the lonely in families." I used to think that only applied to those who didn't have families... the widows, orphans, etc. I have found just the opposite to be true. Even people in families get lonely and that's when God brings a family to you.

I Never Thought I Would Say This...

...I miss school. The sad part about all of this is that I haven't had a break from classes since I got home from Youth With A Mission in 2003. I have been immersed in college ever since. Granted, I am only going part time now that I have a full-time job, but I have been looking forward to this summer break since I started working on my degree.

There is something about learning that makes me excited. Even though there are days during the semester when I wish that I could fast forward a few years to when I am walking across that stage, receiving my diploma (I will be pushing 30 at that point). I think I enjoy the challenge of writing papers and studying for exams. It is exhilarating to think that you bombed an assignment to then see a big red "A" on your paper.

Yesterday at work, we were all amazed to learn that Antioch College was closing, a school founded on the ideals that each student is an individual. They don't have a curriculum plan, they don't assign letter grades (merely pass or fail), and they simply learn. I wonder if the reason they are closing is because most students are like myself— they enjoy the thrill of working for that letter grade and drawing a line through the class when they are through with it... who knows, but it does make me wonder.

I am still deciding exactly what it is I want to do. I have changed majors in my mind a thousand times. I am sticking with English simply because I can get through it the quickest, and I enjoy reading (though grammar is NOT at all my strong suit). Do I go on for my master's degree? I would be probably be 40 by the time I finished that! : ) All thoughts to ponder as I travel through life!

A Place to Write for an Introvert

For many years, I have loved to write. I may not be terribly good at it or even remotely interesting, but I enjoy it. Namely because I tend to be introverted—not that I don't enjoy people, but I do enjoy my time alone. It takes me longer to process information... I have to think things through. I recently read a book called The Introvert Advantage. This book alluded to the fact that being introverted is a gift. I can't remember the exact statistics but the majority of the people in the world are extroverted. We bring the balance to the chaotic life of extroverts. I, however, have, and still do, see being introverted as a disadvantage. While my boss is firing her tenth task for me to do, I am still writing down and processing task three. The sad part about all of this is that extroverts don't care and don't understand why we aren't like them. They only know that they move faster, get things done quicker, and are completely frustrated that the introverts haven't kept up with them.

If you aren't as familiar with the introvert/extrovert concept, I highly recommend The Introvert Advantage (You can just read the intro that explains the two concepts). Many people think that introverts are simply people who don't like to talk and are completely backward—not true! You can be the most outgoing person in the world and still be introverted (I tend to doubt it, but anything is possible). If you get your energy from being with people and bouncing ideas off of them, then you are most likely an extrovert. However, if you are like me and enjoy processing things by yourself, and are easily overwhelmed with long amounts of time spent with people. then you are probably an introvert.

Anyway, all that to say, I am glad to have a place where I can be my introverted, processing slowly, thinking things through by myself. I welcome any comments!