The Good, the Bad, but Mostly, the Ugly

Today something happened that caused me to face the ugliness of my soul. It was scary. I won't go into details, but as I wallowed in self-pity, allowing thoughts of anger and revenge to run through my mind, I had a moment where I felt the Holy Spirit say, "Whoa!"

Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly the word whoa, but thoughts of Jesus began to penetrate my heart. I remembered Jesus turning the other cheek; I remembered Jesus loving me despite the many times I've sinned. It was truly an ephinany into who I've become, and I'll be honest, I don't like it. Lord, forgive me.

The other night I read this in My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. The Lord brought it back to me tonight.

Are You Ready to Be Poured Out As An Offering?
Tell God you are ready to be offered as a sacrifice for Him. Then accept the consequences as they come, without any complaints, in spite of what God may send your way. God will send you through crisis in private, where no other person can help you. From the outside your life may appear to be the same, but the difference is taking place in your will. Once you have experienced the crisis in your will, you will take no thought of the cost when it begins to affect you externally. If you don't deal with God on the level of your will first, the result will be only to arouse sympathy for yourself.

"Bind the sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar" (Psalm 118:27). You must be willing to be placed on the altar and go through the fire; willing to experience what the altar represents—burning, purificatioin, and separation for only one purpose—the elimination of every desire and affection not grounded in or directed toward God. But you don't eliminate it, God does. You "bind the sacrifce...to the horns of the altar" and see to it that you don't wallow in self-pity once the fire begins. After you have gone through the fire, there will be nothing that will be able to trouble or depress you. When another crisis arises, you will realize that things cannot touch you as they used to do. What fire lies ahead in your life?

Tell God you are ready to be poured out as an offering and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be.