...That's what I've always told myself anyway. Thanks Eleanor Roosevelt for that sage advice; if only it were easily lived out. For the past several months, I've noticed that I have begun to feel completely inferior compared to everyone in my life. It's not that I've never felt inferior before, but lately, it seems like a recurring theme. And, I'm not writing this blog so that people will feel sorry for me and tell me how awesome I am. I'm writing this blog for my own sanity and need to see the truth.
I've always believed that it's important to be self-aware—know your strengths and your weaknesses. Don't tout your skill at something when, in fact, you really aren't that great at it. The last 29 years of my life, I've been an introvert to the core. I didn't let people in to my life very easily. I was guarded. But this past year, I've lived so differently than I ever have before. I enjoy people. I want them to be around. I even let new folks in to my world.
Hence, my newly found inferiority complex.
The truth is, when you let a bunch of imperfect people invade your life, things happen. Good things. Bad things. I've learned that I compare myself. I let the words spoken to me penetrate my heart and my head. I tend to listen to imperfect voices rather than the only voice that counts, Jesus.
When I think about the good things, I am compelled to press on. People matter. And no matter how much pain I experience, the gain far exceeds it. This is what Jesus has called us to. This is what Jesus has called me to.
The truth of the matter is, no matter what people say, I know this about God:
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Life is not a competition. Life is meant to be lived loving God and loving people. The other stuff, is just that, stuff. It only gets in the way of our purpose. Our mission.
I want to be better at this. I want to rise above insecurities that are trivial beyond belief. I don't want to fear to keep me from dreaming and doing and walking through doors that God has opened for me.
This song has become my daily prayer—my reminder that He is enough.
I Shall Not Want
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