Another House Dream

Over a year ago, I had a really vivid dream about my house. (You can read about that here: http://andisupdate.blogspot.com/2015/02/it-started-with-dream.html)

Last night, I had another vivid dream about a house - not my current house - but a house that I bought. So, this morning, I looked up what houses represent in dreams.

They actually represent you. They represent your life.

I was kind of blown away by this because I'm not much of a dreamer, but sometimes God uses dreams to catch my attention when I need Him to. I think I needed him to capture my attention today.

Last night, I dreamed that I bought this amazing house for very little money. It was perfect. People would come over and ask how I afforded it. Somehow, it was connected to this resort, and because of that, I had access to a nearly private, in-ground pool; a private hot tub; and even rides.

Inside the house, there was a baby grand piano and a water feature that was three-stories tall. It was peaceful and inviting and absolutely, overwhelmingly beautiful.

I was alone. No Kyle. No family. No friends. Just me.

I think that was important because I'm not gonna lie, aside from meeting Kyle, this past year or so has been really difficult. I haven't been able to focus on anything that's been really important to me: faith, my family, church, health & fitness, and even some of my friendships have suffered. It's been a year of giving up a lot for other people. I don't begrudge that. At times, it is necessary, but today, I felt like God was getting my attention and giving me permission to move on with my life.

In fact, I couldn't see it until just this moment, but I had a meeting with my new boss this morning, where she actually confirmed this for me. She empowered me to let go of something that I've struggled to let go of. I needed her to do this for me, and I'm grateful. And scared. And hopeful.

I'm not going to lie. It is probably one of the hardest things I have to do. But I want that life back. I want a beautiful, peaceful house. I want my joy back.

Today, I feel like God gave me permission.

It's not selfish to take care of yourself. This is probably one of the most difficult concepts I have to wrap my head around. My best friend is a counselor, and she preaches self-care. Every fiber inside of me screams out "You are being selfish!" But the truth of the matter is that it's just like riding on an airplane. When the oxygen mask falls out of the ceiling, you can't help anyone if you haven't helped yourself first. You can't make life better for someone if you are suffocating.

If you don't believe me, Jesus even set this example for us. In the midst of Jesus becoming the most popular guy on the planet, Luke 5:16 briefly mentions that He often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He did this because He knew that He was no good to anyone if He wasn't spending time with His Father.

So today, I want to give anyone reading this blog permission to take care of themselves. Don't let life strangle the joy out of you. It is hard to establish boundaries with people we love, but we have to do it. Boundaries make us all uncomfortable. Trust me, I know. However, the best thing we can do is to establish those boundaries and respect the boundaries that other people set.

Let's all have the best "house" possible.